is this something?
ADDRESSvisit the official twitter page for future updates, announcements, random thoughts, things joe saw and felt slightly about, and other random posts at https://x.com/averagejoelol
nothing special ★just here ★he is doing his best, probably ★welcome to the internet, 1999 edition ★
~ the tale of joe ~
a complete and unabridged account of one (1) regular day. no highlights. we checked.
CH. 1 — the alarm.txt_□×
Joe set six alarms. He turned off the first five without waking up. The sixth one he answered out loud, to nobody, saying "okay okay okay." Then he lay there for eleven more minutes doing absolutely nothing with his eyes open.
he is not thinking. he is buffering.
CH. 2 — the ceiling.txt_□×
There is a small water stain up there shaped like Ohio. Joe has been meaning to ask the landlord about it since a previous apartment, which is not the same apartment. He does not know how that's possible either.
the ceiling has never once answered.
CH. 3 — the commute.txt_□×
the second-floor bathroom. quieter. he takes the long way.
Joe listened to the same four songs he has listened to since he was nineteen. Somebody honked at somebody else and Joe felt weirdly involved. He arrived exactly on time, which nobody noticed, which is the whole system working correctly.
said 'yeah no totally' 6 times before noon.
CH. 4 — the screen.txt_□×
cold pizza is a food group if you're consistent about it.
He looked at a screen. Then a smaller screen. Then the big screen again to check whether the small screen had lied. At some point the room got dark and he didn't get up to turn on a light, because that would have been a decision.
he's just looking at stuff.
CH. 5 — the hill.txt_□×
he has never told anyone he does this.
Joe drove up to the spot where everyone drives up to. He looked at all the little lights and felt something enormous that he had absolutely no name for. He stood there eight minutes. Then he went home and went to bed, because tomorrow is a Tuesday.
average joe. nothing special. just here.
the official joe file
joe_stats_FINAL_v2_real_FINAL.xls_□×
| NAME | joe. just joe. joseph if you're mad at him. |
|---|---|
| AGE | old enough to grunt when he stands up |
| HEIGHT | average |
| OCCUPATION | yeah |
| HOURS SLEPT LAST NIGHT | 5.5, but low quality, like a gas station hot dog |
| UNREAD MESSAGES | 1,204 (three are important, he does not know which) |
| TABS OPEN | 31. two are playing audio. he cannot find them. |
| TIMES SAID 'YEAH NO TOTALLY' | 6 today. it is 11am. |
| FAVOURITE PLACE | his car, parked, engine off, for ten extra minutes |
| GREATEST FEAR | someone asking 'so what do you do for fun?' |
| SPECIAL SKILL | pretending to look for something to avoid conversation |
| PERSONALITY | loading... |
photos of a guy
four (4) photographs exist of joe. this is the complete archive. it is not growing.
JOE PHOTO VIEWER 3.1 — [the_spot.jpg]_□×
FileEditViewEnhance (broken)Help
drove up here to clear his head. head remains uncleared. nice view though.
PROPERTIES
- taken:
- 11:48 PM, a tuesday
- location:
- the pull-off everybody knows about
- size:
- 412 KB
- device:
- phone, held slightly crooked
joe rating: ★★★☆☆
FILM STRIP
image 1 of 4zoom: whateverLOADING... (it already loaded)
scroll down ★there's more of him ★unfortunately ★
joe says
broadcasting one thought at a time on a channel nobody subscribed to.
channel 3 — no signal_□×
DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET
joe_thoughts.wav — 0:00 / ∞_□×
> TRACK 01 ▶ PLAYING
“i'm not tired i just closed my eyes for the length of a nap.”
shuffle: off (joe likes the order)
questions nobody asked
THE JOE FORUM > general discussion > this thread. 7 replies. locked by moderator (joe).
« back to boardpage 1 of 1NEW POST (disabled)
> not really. it's a guy and a website. that's the whole inventory.
— sent from a computer, sitting down
should i be here?
> somebody has to be. the counter says you're the 8th person today, which is 8 more than yesterday.
— sent from a computer, sitting down
why does he look like that?
> he was going to fix his hair and then he didn't, and then thirteen years happened.
— sent from a computer, sitting down
can i talk to joe?
> he'd prefer you didn't call. he replies to written things in 2-5 business days or never.
— sent from a computer, sitting down
what's with the sad eyes?
> allergies. it's allergies. it's been allergies since 2011.
— sent from a computer, sitting down
does he have a hobby?
> he watches videos of other people doing hobbies. he's very knowledgeable about all of them.
— sent from a computer, sitting down
is there a point to this page?
> you scrolled this far so probably not, and yet here we both are.
— sent from a computer, sitting down
thread closed. 1 user browsing this topic (it's you)
4 photos exist ★no more are planned ★he is camera shy and also busy sitting ★